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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27743365">to be loved by you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sungiegoose/pseuds/sungiegoose'>sungiegoose</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Crying, Cute Han Jisung | Han, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Han Jisung | Han &amp; Hwang Hyunjin are Best Friends, Hwang Hyunjin is Whipped, Inappropriate Humor, Kim Seungmin is a Good Friend, Kissing, M/M, Pining, Swearing, not as sad as it sounds I promise</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:42:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,497</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27743365</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sungiegoose/pseuds/sungiegoose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Hey Hyunjin. Long day?”</p><p>“You could say that.”</p><p>"Ooh~ boy troubles, maybe?”</p><p>"Shut the fuck up.” </p><p>---</p><p>Hwang Hyunjin transfers to his dream university and gains a new dance team, great friends, and a crush he can't seem to fight.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Kim Seungmin/Yang Jeongin | I.N</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>94</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Hyunfest 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>to be loved by you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>From prompt #39 of Hyunfest:<br/>"Character A starts college (or transfers to a college) and he ends up joining a club of some sort. he quickly becomes friends with Character B who is also in the club. Character B introduces Character A to all of their friends and they start hanging out more and more; Character A starting to fall for Character B. The only problem is, Character B has a boyfriend."</p><p>--</p><p>This is my first time writing this sort of oneshot and I know it's not exactly the same but I hope that you like it!!! I really did my best!!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s not that Hyunjin's nervous about being new. He’s always been new, be it in the shop he just visited or the school he just transferred to. He knows that his face is a rare sight and his long blonde hair and neat fashion don’t help his case in the category of fitting in, but this university will be his home for the next four years and his heart won’t calm down about it. He’s just worried about not being liked. Or being liked for the wrong reasons. Or slipping on the sleek, freshly waxed wooden floors of the most pristine dance room he's ever set foot in and making an absolute fool of himself in front of everyone else. He worked hard to get into this specific university, one that specializes in the arts and has a dance program that pumps out dancers who go on to perform on the biggest stages with the most loved idols known to South Korea. He doesn’t want to be taken as a joke right off the bat, especially not as he stands outside the room designated for the competition/performance dance club.</p><p>Okay…so maybe he’s a little bit nervous. </p><p>Hyunjin sighs deep, adjusting his duffel bag over his shoulder and straightening out his freshly-ironed shirt which he tucked into his loosely cuffed jeans. <em>Deep breath, Hyunjin. Here we go.</em></p><p>He opens the door and is immediately greeted by about a dozen dancers scattered around, chattering and laughing as a deep bass rumbles in the background of what should obviously be practice time. The blonde, lost and a bit confused, looks around for a beat long enough for someone to notice him. A boy, blonde and cutely freckled, bounces up to him with wide eyes and a cautious smile.</p><p>“Hi, you must be our transfer student!” </p><p>His voice is shockingly deep, but friendly and sweet. “Uh…yeah. I’m Hwang Hyunjin.”</p><p>“Oh! I’m Felix Lee. Come on in, where’d you transfer from?” </p><p>He follows the small boy deeper into the room, heading towards a group messing around in the corner, “America. I studied abroad for a year in Las Vegas.” </p><p>Felix hummed, “did you like it?”</p><p>“Not at all.” And Felix’s answering laugh sounded both shocked and elated, a pitch higher than his voice would suggest. It’s true, though, Hyunjin didn’t enjoy his time away. He missed his friends and his dog. The dry heat and lack of trees did nothing for him, he wanted greenery and rain and to play outside without worrying about the judgements of kids made to grow up too soon. And, Hyunjin reasons, if he hadn’t been made to study abroad, he would be a part of this crowd of dancers rather than an intruder of it. </p><p>They reach the group and Hyunjin reminds himself to bow, <em>don’t want to seem rude on the first day.</em> But one of boys quickly laughs it off, “no need to be so formal, we’re all friends here! I’m Changmin.” He’s dainty, cute, but there’s a dangerous gleam to his eye that makes Hyunjin feel like he’s a troublemaker above all else. </p><p>Introductions kick up from there, going from Yeji to Kevin, Ryujin to Moonbin, Sua, Soojin, Bomin, then landing on a boy with the prettiest doe eyes Hyunjin has ever seen. He’s short, petite, but with obvious strength in his surprisingly long limbs. His nose small and sharp, his lips pouty and cheeks plump and round. He’s easily the most beautiful person Hyunjin’s ever met. Then he grants a bright, heart-shaped smile as he announces that he’s, “Han Jisung! But I like to be called Han.” His voice is nice, that perfect balance of not-too-deep and smooth.</p><p>He’s so captivated by his new crew member that he only realizes he hasn’t introduced himself when Felix nudges his side, “o-oh.” A blush paints its way across Hyunjin's cheeks as he becomes hyper-aware of those sparkly eyes staring at him in earnest. “I’m Hyunjin. Hwang Hyunjin. I don’t really- uh, just Hyunjin is fine.” <em>Great, now Jisung can go tell his friends about the fucking loser who joined his dance crew today.</em> </p><p>A chorus of “hellos" that Hyunjin can’t do much else to respond to than wave before Felix calls order to their group. </p><p>“Okay! Hyunjin, you’re here just in time. We’re starting our duets today and each group has to hold partner selection within our respective groups. So! Go for it, I see you eyeing each other already.” </p><p>Out of place and slightly panicked, Hyunjin watches as pre-established alliances form. Then, a soft poke at his arm and wide eyes are all he can see. “Hyunjin? Do you wanna pair up with me?” </p><p>He focuses, brain malfunctioning at the fact that <em>this is really happening right now</em> and he takes a small, hopefully subtle, breath before facing Jisung fully. “Are you sure? I mean– you haven’t even seen me dance.” </p><p>Jisung snorts, “you gotta be good just to be here, besides, you’re so tall. I bet we can pull off some really cool moves with all that height.” </p><p>Hyunjin decides he’s met his doom as he realizes that Jisung is just as charming as he is good-looking. “Then– yeah, I’d like that.” Still, despite his racing heart, Hyunjin reminds himself that most people love to be nice to the new kid. Especially when said “new kid" looks like Hyunjin. He knows, this infatuation with Jisung won’t last just as the rest hadn’t as the illusion with Hyunjin fades but for now, the warmth is nice and welcome. </p><p>“Lix! I’m teaming up with Hyunjin!”</p><p>Felix cocks an eyebrow, “what about Minho?” </p><p>“You pair up with him! Besides, he and I are shit at working together in this stuff. Our styles are too different.” </p><p>Felix nods, “fine, but you get to tell him, I’m not involving myself in all that.” </p><p>Jisung shrugs, not bothering to explain as he turns back to Hyunjin and grins, “what’s your style?”</p><p> </p><p>Even as they discuss music genres and dance, the warmth remains. Every time Jisung leans in a bit too close and their hands brush in a rush of inspiration when picking songs. Hyunjin quickly learns that Jisung is fidgety and a bit strange, he makes the blonde laugh easily and loudly, and he plays a lot then gets serious as an idea hits him out of the blue. When the meeting ends, Felix grins and dismisses everyone– except Hyunjin. </p><p>He won’t lie, nerves hit him as soon as he hears that he isn’t allowed to go yet and only amplify with every student that trickles out. Only, Jisung doesn’t leave either. Just packs his things and returns to stand by Hyunjin as Felix also finishes gathering his things. “I just wanted to give you a proper welcome and say that if you need help or anything, don’t hesitate to come to me, okay?” </p><p>“Oh, okay! Thank you! Um‐ are you the captain?” </p><p>“Co-captain, actually, our captain is Lee Minho. He had school obligations today but you’ll meet him next meeting, I’m sure!” Felix’s face scrunches as he smiles before it all drops and he snaps his fingers, “which reminds me! We meet daily, but every other day, uh- Tuesday and Thursday, Sungie and I stay late with Minho to practice more. If you wanna join.” </p><p>Oh? Maybe Felix is genuinely kind. Then Jisung starts bouncing and Hyunjin's heart lurches, “oh! Definitely come!! It’ll be so fun to have you around!” </p><p>Hyunjin laughs and nods, “okay, I’ll come.” He checks the time, “uh…do you know where the cafeteria is? Well, no, sorry, I’m sure you do. Could you tell me? I haven’t eaten all day.” </p><p>Jisung gasps, big and dramatic, “you came to dance practice without eating? Are you insane?” </p><p>He hopes his sheepish smile hides how much fun he’s having, “I knowwww, I just didn’t have time today. I was overwhelmed and spent most of my time trying to find things.” </p><p>Felix and Jisung share a long look during which a million different expressions cross their faces and Hyunjin is both frightened and amazed as they seem to have an entire discussion in pure silence before Felix turns and asks, “can I see your schedule?” </p><p>Hyunjin feels like he already knows why but scrunches his eyebrows in fabricated confusion as he pulls up his course schedule on his phone, muttering a meek “okay" and turning his phone to the two boys. They scan it thoughtfully, Jisung muttering beneath his breath and moving his finger around as if calculating the times. </p><p>“That works! Come on, let’s eat. I’m starving anyway.” Jisung links his arm with Felix and gestures to Hyunjin with his other, “are you okay with skinship? I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable.” Hyunjin lets the way he (very calmly) walks over and links his arm through Jisung’s own, offering a bright smile that’s easily brought out by the way the small boy's eyes shine at him. </p><p>Felix grins something like sunshine and cheers, “let’s go!” </p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin decides it’s too easy to like Jisung as he watches him eat, fondness spreading unsolicited as the brunette stuff his cheeks with everything he can before chewing for a long time with happy eyes. Then, he starts listing off what tastes good together and suggesting ways to eat the different dishes, “this is so yummy-" he lifts a piece of beef- “if you dip it in this sauce.” Instead of eating it, he holds his chopsticks out to Hyunjin across the table, “try.” </p><p>He can’t help it, he flusters. He knows his cheeks are at least pink from how hot they feel but he does his best to be casual as he leans forward and opens his mouth and bites, captivated by how excited Jisung looks right now. He’s really, <em>really</em> cute. “You were right! Really yummy.” </p><p>And he grins. <em>Grins.</em> A happy, toothy smile with his eyes crinkling and chin titled up. When Hyunjin begins eating the way Jisung suggested, he bounces in his seat and sends a pointed look at Felix, “see?? You should listen to me too, I know what I’m talking about!” Felix only shrugs and continues as he was before, ignoring the way Jisung nags at him in between big bites of his own food.</p><p>It’s fun like this, Hyunjin finds himself smiling so much his cheeks kind of hurt and laughing more than he has in a long time. He thinks he’d like to spend a lot of time with Jisung and learn about more than his funny personality and pretty face. He just hopes that the feeling is mutual.</p><p>And when Jisung reaches out to feed Hyunjin for the nth time, he thinks it must be. But then Felix is yelling a bright, “Minho hyung!!!” and Hyunjin watches with embarrassing dread as Jisung turns immediately and opens his arms to who he assumes is Minho. Gorgeous, clearly muscular, and very well-dressed. Hyunjin feels unreasonable as his stomach dips and his heart races unpleasantly when the beautiful Minho reaches them and leans in to leave a lingering kiss on Jisung’s lips. </p><p><em>You haven’t even known him long, what is wrong with you?</em> He scolds himself, annoyed at how much Jisung’s cute giggles at Minho's kisses bother him and even <em>more</em> annoyed as he finds himself feeling negatively about someone he doesn’t even know. Over someone else he doesn’t know! What the hell! </p><p>He really needs to get it together. So, he plasters on his sweetest fake smile when Minho turns to him, knowing that nobody will be able to tell the difference. “Oh, hi? I’m Lee Minho, Jisungie's boyfriend.”</p><p><em>Like I couldn’t tell?</em> “Ah, nice to meet you! I’m Hwang Hyunjin.” </p><p>Realization dawns on Minho's stupidly handsome face and he breaks into a really sweet smile, “the new dancer! I’m sorry I couldn’t meet you at the club meeting today.” </p><p>And he’s so genuine that Hyunjin feels even more annoyed with himself at his childish jealousy. “Oh, it’s no big deal, Felix and Hannie welcomed me nicely!” </p><p>Minho cocks an eyebrow at that but quickly replaces it with a sincere grin, “good, our Hannie is very good at that, right baby?” Hyunjin watches as Minho pats Jisung’s head and sits next to him, hardly any space between them. Why does Hyunjin hate this? They only just met, shouldn’t he be shrugging it off already? The disappointment gnawing at him is a wake up call for how easily he falls for people. He should really do something about that. Especially since he’s doomed to spending a lot of time with the prettiest boy he’s ever seen who also has an intimidating boyfriend. </p><p>Not that Minho is abrasive or rude. No, he’s kind and genuinely sweet. He’s just also beautiful and built the way Hyunjin dreams. He can just tell the older boy is an amazing dancer. </p><p>He’s what Hyunjin’s insecurities are made of. </p><p> </p><p>The next day, at their second practice since Hyunjin’s arrival, he realizes that his crush may not be as short-lived as he’s been hoping. Not when Jisung rushes in with waters for both of them and snacks for “after we feel like dying from dancing so amazingly”. He put the heavy bag down beside their duffels and grins brightly. </p><p>“I bought a lot because I don’t know what you like to have after practice.” He pouts at the bag then up at Hyunjin, “hopefully there’s something.”</p><p>He offers a smile to the boy as he tries getting his racing heart in check, nodding as he eyes the bag, “I'm sure there will be. Thank you, Hannie  you really didn’t have to.” </p><p>“Oh, nonsense, we’re partners now! Gotta look out for each other, right?” </p><p>He’s too giddy. “Right!” </p><p>Jisung’s eyes shift into something excited, all sparkles and light, “okay! Hear me out, I’m thinking something like this-" and just like that, he’s off rambling a million different ideas at once. He brings up several different songs with a solid description of what their potential choreography to it could be for each one with Hyunjin chiming in with his own thoughts and ideas as they go. As soon as Jisung finishes with his list, Hyunjin starts going down his and telling the smaller boy about his own visions, trying not to lose focus with how closely Jisung huddles in next to him and the way their arms and legs are now pressed together. </p><p> </p><p>Finally, they settle on Here Come the Regrets by Epik High. Hyunjin's excited, not only does he get to do an emotional contemporary piece but there’s also room to blend in hip hop elements without going against the music. Jisung seems just as excited, standing up immediately and clearing them a space in front of their things resting against the mirror. They share airpods, one for each boy, and begin immediately. </p><p>“I was thinking, when he says ‘where was I, what did I do, who with-' we can kinda reenact that feeling? Like, where was I-" he steps towards Jisung, too focused to overthink what he’s about to do. “what did I do?” he pulls Jisung close, one hand at the small of his back and the other holding his in something like a ballroom hold- minus space and poise, something more suggestive. “who with-" he grabs a firm hold on the smaller boy and grins when he seems to get the memo and lets himself slide to the floor in what looks like a harsh movement. One knee bent to act as support on the way down and the other leg straightened against the floor, their hands held tight. </p><p>Hyunjin flusters, pulling away as naturally as possible and looking back down at Jisung, “so, what do you think?” </p><p>The boy grins, his mouth forming a heart and his eyes scrunching and he looks so cute that Hyunjin can feel his heartbeat quicken. “I think, I made the right choice when picking you as my dance partner!” Hyunjin smiles back, pure joy running rampant through his veins. “Help me up, let’s keep going, I’m excited!”</p><p> </p><p>They stay longer than any other pair, going over steps and talking through their story line and how they’ll convey the song with enough impact to do it justice. They agree that they can each act as a “narrator" of sorts. As the singer changes, so does the lead. As soon as they agreed on that, the ideas just kept coming. At some point, Minho comes up to them and Jisung is quick hug him despite how sweaty they both are. Hyunjin tries to make the way he diverts his eyes as subtle as possible. </p><p>“I’m gonna go, baby. See you later?”</p><p>“But you said we’d hang out today.” Jisung’s whining, Hyunjin can hear it in the way he drags his words out. “You said we’d walk back together too.” </p><p>“I know, and I’m sorry, but I need to meet with Channie about our senior project. I'll text you, okay?” </p><p>“Okay…” </p><p>What’s strange to Hyunjin is that they don’t kiss upon parting like most couples would. Minho pats Jisung’s head and then he’s off and out the room. Weird. </p><p>“You guys are cute.” Hyunjin’s infatuation with Jisung doesn’t change the fact that he’d like to be friends with the boy, and friends support each other's relationships. </p><p>“Huh?” When they meet eyes, Jisung looks almost zoned out. “oh! Thank you,” a pretty blush makes its way to his cheeks and Hyunjin can’t fight the smile it causes. “Can we call it a day? I’m really hungry.”</p><p>“Yeah, of course!” He won’t divulge that he can practice all night without noticing because he hates leaving things halfway dome, instead he drops himself dramatically and pats the spot next to him. “Show me the snacks.” Hyunjin grins almost evilly and Jisung laughs something ridiculous before plopping down next to him and bring the bag to sit between them. </p><p>“Okay-" He pulls out two big bottles of water, “these are a must, we’ve lost too many electrolytes today. Boring, I know.” Hyunjin giggles and takes the bottle offered to him. “Now for the fun part- I brought lots. Here are jellies, and chips- spicy, not spicy, kinda weird flavors- and chocolate!” with everything splayed out on the floor in front of him, Hyunjin can practically feel the stomach ache waiting for him. “Nothing healthy, we’ve earned this.” </p><p>Yeah, they did earn it. </p><p>They have also earned the queasy aching of their stomachs that comes with intense exercise immediately followed by snacks rather than a proper meal. Hyunjin groans, throwing himself to lay back against the wooden floor, “mistakes were made.”</p><p>“I stand by my decision.” Except Jisung sounds just as full and pained as Hyunjin feels and he can’t help laughing at them. The smaller boy joins in and soon they’re a mess of giggles and gasps for no real reason. Blame it on the exhaustion or the thrill of making a new friend- but they don’t stop until the contemporary dance instructor shoos them away to prepare for her upcoming class. Even after they’ve left the fine arts building, they can’t stop the small laughs that escape them. </p><p>“Do you have any classes left?” </p><p>Jisung snorts, “you think I’m masochistic enough to take evening classes?”</p><p>“How would I know?” </p><p>A short laugh, sarcastic and playful, “what about you?” </p><p>“Me? No way, I made sure I had this meeting as the last thing in my day.” Partially because of his habit of practicing for as long as possible but also because he doesn’t enjoy the idea of going to class drenched in his sweat from a long day of dancing. </p><p>“Fair.” </p><p> </p><p>They part ways at the fork in the path that leads to the different dorm buildings and when Hyunjin finally locks himself into his dorm room, he lets his bags fall to the floor heavily and jumps right into his bed.</p><p>Seungmin, his roommate, laughs loudly. “Hey Hyunjin. Long day?”</p><p>“You could say that.”</p><p>“Ooh~ boy troubles, maybe?”</p><p>“Shut the fuck up.” This just gets an even louder laugh out of Seungmin and Hyunjin throws a pillow his way before turning around and taking a nap. </p><p> </p><p>The shift from going their separate ways after practice to taking solace in one of their dorm rooms together is gradual and unspoken. First, it’s to watch a drama Hyunjin had recommended to Jisung because the younger insists that “if it’s sad, I can’t watch it alone, I'll cry.” Then, it’s to play a new game that Felix is too busy going on dates with his new boyfriend to play with his best friend/roommate. However, even after they burn through every episode of that drama and play the game so many times they grow bored of it, they keep finding reasons to wind up in the same room for the rest of the day. </p><p> </p><p>Like now, where they sit on Jisung’s bed in his dorm and debate which Ghibli film to watch for the evening. </p><p>“How about this? Spirited Away is a classic, everyone knows and loves it. We’ll have a good time and no unnecessary stress over what comes next.” Jisung grins after pitching his proposal for the tenth time, chewing loudly on a gummy worm as he bounces the stuffed bunny in his lap. </p><p>“You didn’t help your case, it’s a classic, yes. But we’ve also each watched it many times in our lives, watching it once more wouldn’t enhance anything about our current selves. You know what would? The enchanting yet frightening world of Howl's Moving Castle.” Hyunjin nudges Jisung’s side, wagging his eyebrows at him with each nudge and laughing when he gets slapped away. </p><p>“You just wanna watch it because it’ll be like watching yourself and you’re narcissistic like that.” </p><p>Hyunjin stills, surprised. “What?”</p><p>“Because you’re like a real life Howl?”</p><p>Hyunjin narrows his eyes playfully, “are you calling me a brat?”</p><p>Jisung laughs, “I was calling you pretty but now I <em>am</em> calling you a brat.” </p><p>Hyunjin pushes down the way his heart wants to race and heat threatens to rise to his cheeks in favor of attacking the smaller boy and seeking his revenge. He pushes himself up on his knees and pushes Jisung back, shaking and tickling him. “Take it back!”</p><p>Jisung’s practically screaming, gasping in between forced laughs, and pushing against Hyunjin with enough strength to hurt just a little. “Never! Accept the truth!” This just gets him a whole other round of aggressive tickling that easily transitions into the kind of push-pull rough housing that gets someone an accidental injury when Jisung suddenly pushes Hyunjin back with his full strength, causing him to hit the bed harshly and complain loud. </p><p>“What the fuck, Sungie? That hurt-"</p><p>“Shush.” He holds his finger out in Hyunjin’s face and he gets the sudden urge to bite it out of spite. “I thought of the perfect compromise.” </p><p>“Um-"</p><p>“Tangled!” </p><p>And maybe he wants to point out that it makes no sense for Tangled to be considered a compromise when they’ve been debating Ghibli films for the past half hour and Tangled is a <em>Disney</em> movie. Maybe he also feels like pointing out that there aren’t nearly enough parallels between Tangled and the other two movies to be called a compromise in that sense either. But all of his arguments die in his throat when he takes in how excited Jisung looks at the mere idea of watching this movie, eyes bright and mouth pulled into an uninhibited grin. </p><p>So, instead, he smiles back and says, “I love Tangled.” </p><p>It’s worth it, he thinks, when Jisung cheers out the tiniest “yay!” he’s ever heard in his life and cues up the movie under a Disney+ account labeled <em>~jilix~.</em> They settle in as the familiar narration begins, the small brunette giggling at the jokes sprinkled into the intro as if it’s the first time he’s ever heard them. Which, Hyunjin knows, can’t be possible when it was the first thing on their ‘recently watched' list. He does enjoy this movie, it’s fun and cute, the songs are catchy and pretty well-written. But he can’t stop being curious over how enamored Jisung seems to be about everything this movie is. So, much like every other time he’s curious, he asks. </p><p>“Why Tangled?” Jisung doesn’t turn away from the screen, eyes seemingly fixated on Rapunzel’s hair lighting up under the water where she and Flynn are trapped. </p><p>Still, he answers. “It’s kind of my comfort movie? In a way? When I watch it, it feels like everything will be okay.” </p><p>It feels like Jisung just revealed a really private part of him to Hyunjin and warmth spreads from his chest down to his fingertips. He wants to know more. See more. Deepen his already good relationship with this boy beside him. “Can you tell me why?” Hyunjin’s voice comes out much softer than intended. </p><p>This time, Jisung seems to lose focus on the musical number entirely. “There’s something comforting about the fact that their lives change entirely at such a ‘late' age and everything turned out okay. Sure, it wasn’t easy. But they weren’t happy and they did everything in their power to change it, first for themselves and then for each other. It’s just- everything falls apart but it comes together much better than it was before.” </p><p>Hyunjin feels the piece of his heart reserved for Jisung become just a little bit fuller. He doesn’t even realize he’s staring until the other's cheeks flush a pretty pink and he returns his gaze to the screen. </p><p>“Now you get to tell me something that I don’t know about you.” </p><p>That’s a hard one. Not because they know everything about each other but because they’ve covered all the easy things like favorite colors, musical artists, preferences in food. New things as of now get into deeper topics, something more personal and revealing. “Like what?” </p><p>“What comforts you?” </p><p>“Usually, I cry. I mean, I cry a lot. I don’t like to be alone when I’m feeling like that but, because I can seriously cry for an hour depending on how deep it runs, I isolate myself and cry then watch a drama and fall asleep.” Hyunjin laughs awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably. </p><p>“I get that.” Jisung nods, like Hyunjin just commented on which Care Bear he likes most. “I’m pretty sensitive too.” </p><p>“Ooo, twinsies.” Hyunjin squeals, trying to lighten the mood. </p><p>Jisung laughs, offering a fist bump to Hyunjin, “hell yeah, twinsies.” </p><p>They return their full attention right as Rapunzel confronts Mother Gothel, the scene soon shifting to Flynn and Jisung laughs so loudly when the men from the bar come to his rescue and beat up the guards that Hyunjin jumps when he abruptly cuts himself off with an eager, “hyung!!” </p><p>At first, Hyunjin thinks Jisung means him, but that’s quickly debunked with a sidelong glance that lets him spot the phone Jisung’s holding up to his ear. Hyunjin knows it’s Minho, he can tell by the lovesick tone in Jisung’s voice. He also knows this routine by now; they’re having a good time after Minho bails on walking out of practice with Jisung and as soon as the boy has free time (no matter how late it is) he calls and the younger ends their hang out immediately. Hyunjin gets it, he really does. But how disposable this dynamic makes him feel isn’t centered on his useless crush but rather on their friendship that’s been growing with each practice and post-practice hang out. </p><p> </p><p>It’s like a cruel cycle, Jisung calls Hyunjin when it's convenient just like Minho calls Jisung when it’s convenient for him.</p><p> </p><p>So, without prompting, Hyunjin gathers his things and slips his shoes on at the door. Leaving with an unreturned wave and biting back frustrated tears. </p><p> </p><p>Over the course of this time, Hyunjin bonds well with his roommate as well, moving from roommates to best friends in no time. Maybe not as close as Jisung, but pretty damn close. Seungmin also gets a front row seat to Hyunjin agonizing over his failure to push his little crush away and his guilt for the fact that it grew into something much stronger instead. Like he is now, laying with his head hanging off the edge of his bed and whining at Seungmin after he finished crying softly in the shower, interrupting his roommate's attempts at completing his English Lit midterm. </p><p>“Minnie, I’m the worst.” </p><p>“You’re really not.” </p><p>“We’re such good friends now, he trusts me so much, and I’m here falling in love with him as if he isn’t on a cute date with his perfect boyfriend right at this very moment.” </p><p>Seungmin sighs, closing his laptop and propping his head up on his hands. “You can’t help who you love, you aren’t betraying him.”</p><p>There’s a loaded pause as Hyunjin takes that in and truly considers it. It’s right, he knows it is, but it’s also not the solution to his many emotions right now. </p><p>“It just hurts.” He admits the truth, what’s really weighing down on his mind and making it hard to continue spending as much time with Jisung as he does. </p><p>This seems to peak Seungmin's interest, “what does?”</p><p>“Being so close to him. Laughing together and learning about all his little details. Having so much fun, feeling so understood and accepted, then watching him run off at the drop of a dime as soon as Minho calls. I cry every time, as if I don’t know better.” Hyunjin lets himself slide off the bed and sits up against it instead. “I feel bad for hurting every time he gushes over Minho, I’m so sad over how much I hate the way his eyes light up when a text comes in. I wanna be happy for him because that’s what he deserves but when he drops me so easily even if we’re in the middle of something, I just feel upset.”</p><p>Seungmin nods along, ever the attentive listener. “So, what do you wanna do about it?” </p><p>Honestly? Give his all as Jisung’s friend and hope for the best, his own feelings and inner turmoil be damned. </p><p>“I wanna die.” </p><p>Seungmin has the ghost of a smirk on his lips at that, laying back down and settling in before opening his arms wide. “come here, idiot.” </p><p>Hyunjin happily dives right into his arms and snuggles close to him, resting his head on Seungmin's chest and wrapping his arms around the younger's waist tightly. </p><p>“Maybe you should try to distance yourself a bit. Don’t let yourself become a convenient friend just because you love him.” </p><p>Hyunjin chews on his lip, “I don’t know, Minnie.” </p><p>“I’m not saying to cut ties, just stop bending to his will all the time. When’s the last time you spent the day doing things for yourself?” </p><p>Huh. “I guess you’re right. Maybe tomorrow I'll rent a studio for after practice and work on that new dance I told you about.”</p><p>Seungmin hums, “I think that’s a great idea.”</p><p>“Thank you, you’re the best.” Hyunjin just receives a brief pat on the back in response and, despite the many thoughts plaguing his mind, he lets the familiar warmth and scent of his roommate comfort him into a dreamless sleep.</p><p> </p><p>When he wakes up, it’s to a string of text messages buzzing against his stomach and Seungmin demanding that he “silence that wretched device before it becomes permanently unable to make noise ever again.” </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sungie: omg hear me out<br/>
Sungie: cats the musical performed by parrots<br/>
Sungie: a million times better than the horrid movie and an opportunity to pass bullshit off as social commentary<br/>
Sungie: thoughts?</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin feels fondness swell in his chest as he considers his answer. </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Jinnie: i think it's 4am and you should be sleeping?</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>He silences his phone and settles back into Seungmin's side, intending on sleeping the last few hours he has left. It almost works, too, but he can see his phone light up with more messages and he can’t help checking them as he tries keeping the light from hitting Seungmin's face. </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sungie: couldn’t sleep<br/>
Sungie: due to…technical difficulties<br/>
Sungie: why are you awake?</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Jinnie: felt the buzzing<br/>
Jinnie: seungmin threatened me to check it or else he’d destroy it or smth</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sungie: damn it must be so loud if your roommate heard it too</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Jinnie: oh yeah,,, we’re kind of sharing a bed so he felt it too</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sungie: YOU LET YOUR ROOMMATE CUDDLE YOU AT NIGHT??<br/>
Sungie: BUT NOT YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND??<br/>
Sungie: I will never forgive you smh</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Jinnie: how am supposed to know that you want that ㅠㅠ</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sungie: wanna make it up to me?</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Jinnie: what do you want?</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sungie: sleepover, your place, this weekend</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Jinnie: …maybe<br/>
Jinnie: go to sleep</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sungie: only a maybe?!?!<br/>
Sungie: GET BACK HERE<br/>
Sungie: uggghhhhh fineeeee<br/>
Sungie: goodnight jinnie~~~</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin groans, dropping his phone and attaching himself as tightly as he can to Seungmin. Saying no is gonna be harder than expected.</p><p> </p><p>And it is, especially after watching Minho explain to Jisung why there’s no way they can spend time together because he needs to be with Chan-hyung and they have a lot to do. When Hyunjin straightens up from picking up his bag, he has a very cute Han Jisung blinking up at him sweetly. “Jinnie…”</p><p>He matches the tone, no matter how flirty it feels. “Yes?” </p><p>“Movie night at my dorm?” He looks so hopeful, like his happiness rides on Hyunjin accepting. </p><p>This is so hard, he wants to say yes so bad. But then he remembers what Seungmin told him. He has to value his own time, he’s not a friend of convenience. “I’m sorry, Hannie. I can’t today.”</p><p>Jisung’s face drops so fast that Hyunjin almost pulls him into a hug, apologies rushing to the tip of his tongue.</p><p>How does Minho do this every day? </p><p>“Oh…why?” He sounds so let down. Part of Hyunjin feels like he sounds more disappointed than when his boyfriend cancels on him but he quickly chalks that up to wishful delusion. </p><p>“I rented some studio time next door, gonna work on a personal piece for a while.” </p><p>Jisung looks interested, his lips forming a perfect ‘o' in surprise. “After?” </p><p>“I kinda rented it for four hours…” </p><p>“What?! You’re gonna dance for four hours?!” </p><p>“Don’t worry, I used to go for longer but this university limits hours for personal safety or whatever.”</p><p>Jisung nods slowly, he doesn’t look convinced at all. “You’re not just gonna practice our duet to show me up next week, are you?” He smirks, poking at Hyunjin’s stomach.</p><p>“I promise, nothing like that will be happening.” </p><p>“Okay!” He turns and bounces towards the door, seemingly excited. “Be safe, remember to drink water!” Then he’s gone and Hyunjin can’t stop staring, as if the pretty boy will reappear and drag him off on another random adventure. He shakes himself out of it and gets moving, making his way next door and locking all entrances so that he can lose himself to the music in peace. </p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin pulls up the song that’s been playing in his head for weeks like a soundtrack to his life. Wonder by Shawn Mendes. It’s ironic, he thinks, how suited this song is to his life right now. He plays it loud and loops it for good measure, retying his long, blonde hair and taking his spot at the center of the room. He drops to his knees and feels it out. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I wonder, if I'm being real<br/>
Do I speak my truth or do I filter to how I feel?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He stretches out, reaching for the imaginary Jisung in his mind that’s just as unreachable as he is in real life. Hyunjin remembers the way the small boy looked when Minho canceled a date on their anniversary of their first kiss, how he cried into Hyunjin's chest then laughed at the awkwardness with which he handles these situations. He has never been as tempted to tell Jisung how much better he’d treat him than in that moment. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I wonder, wouldn't it be nice<br/>
To live inside a world that isn't black and white?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>At the end of that day, Minho showed up at the dorm last minute with cheesecake and a sweet smile, Hyunjin promptly left with their game of Mario Kart left un-paused and unfinished. That’s when he started crying upon getting back to his room. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I wonder, what it's like to be my friends<br/>
Hope that they don't think I forget about them<br/>
I wonder<br/>
I wonder</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He stands, two pirouettes. Seungmin once yelled at Hyunjin, telling him that he deserves better than to be pining for someone who only views him platonically. Told him that he’s so caught up, he doesn’t even realize that there are things happening around him too. Like Seungmin getting the guts to confess to Jeongin and them starting a happy relationship. That night, Hyunjin had taken Jisung out for pizza after his dinner plans “fell through". That was the night Jisung said “I’m happy I’m here with you, Jinnie.” And a foolish hope bloomed in Hyunjin’s chest. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Right before I close my eyes<br/>
The only thing that's on my mind<br/>
Been dreaming that you feel it too<br/>
I wonder what it's like to be loved by you</em>
</p><p> </p><p>It’s not all one sided, not the friendship. Hyunjin has a bad habit of studying too hard when the semester gets tough and Jisung picked up on the way he locks himself in the library for hours on end until the lights are shut off and the security guards kick him out, stressed and hungry. One evening, right when Hyunjin's taken so many notes his hand aches and his eyes burn, Jisung pops into view with a latte and a healing smile. He made Hyunjin take a break, made jokes that nearly got them kicked out for laughing too loud. Hyunjin still thinks that’s the only reason he passed that test. </p><p>He pushes through the song, keeping the moves he feels more attached to and swapping out the ones he feels unsure about until almost half of the song is choreographed. He remembers everything, pours his heart out into the dance. All he sees are sparkly eyes, a cute nose, pouty lips. A friendly smile, comforting hugs. Someone who’s always there. The loudest quiet person who struggles to make friends and hates ordering at restaurants. Hyunjin remembers the night he couldn’t fall asleep, too many thoughts keeping him awake, so he sent Jisung a text about how koalas are permanently high and as soon as the younger learned that Hyunjin couldn’t sleep, he called and talked to him in the softest voice until unconsciousness finally accepted the blonde. </p><p>Yes, Hyunjin wants more. But he loves his friend, Jisung, more than anything. He doesn’t stick around in the hopes of getting something but rather because no one else makes him laugh as much as Jisung does. No one goes along with his jokes as seamlessly or reads his mood as well, as his best friend. No one is as endearing as he is annoying, as caring as he is sarcastic, as excitable as he is sensitive. Just Jisung. </p><p>No one else spends every free moment possible watching nature documentaries and conspiracy theory videos covering the strangest topics, completely enraptured. No one else will remember that Hyunjin only likes to eat the tutti frutti jelly bellies and order a giant bag straight from the factory only to make small bags of them for Hyunjin to have each time they snack together. No one else takes a new member of the dance team as his partner before ever watching him dance, befriends him even when it’s hard for him, and shares so much love it becomes hard to not fall for him. Just him.</p><p> </p><p>Han Jisung. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A thunderous banging on the main door breaks Hyunjin from his heartbreak-fueled thoughts and he falls to the floor in surprise. Not dangerously, just dramatically. He looks up and sees wide eyes and fluffy brown hair through the window in the door, his heart races in spite of himself. He doesn’t run to the door, no, he’s better than that. However, he does move fast enough to trip over himself as he turns off the music. </p><p>“Hey- what’s wrong?” Jisung’s face contorts into worry as soon as Hyunjin opens the door.</p><p>He tilts his head to the side, “what do you mean?” </p><p>Hyunjin watches with wide eyes as his crush reaches out, trailing soft fingers across his cheeks and gathering the previously unfelt tears that has been resting there. “You’re crying, Hyuni.” </p><p>Oh, don’t get him started on <em>Hyuni</em>. The nickname that only Jisung uses on him and makes his heart soar with affection every time. </p><p>“I didn’t even realize.” He figures they must’ve slipped as he let himself really feel every moment he’s spent with the boy standing before him. </p><p>Jisung frowns, wiping Hyunjin’s cheeks dry with feather-light touches. “What were you thinking about?” </p><p>“Just- life.” He’s not sure if such a vague response will satisfy the boy who always wants to know more but he isn’t in the business of ruining friendships over romantic feelings. </p><p>Jisung eyes him, as if debating whether to accept his answer or not, but the smile Hyunjin gives him must work because then he’s smiling sweetly and nodding. “Time's up, right? It’s been about four hours.”</p><p>It is? He checks the time on the clock at the back of the room. 9:00 PM. “Oh, yeah, it is.” </p><p>“Great! Then, I’m officially taking you hostage!” Jisung holds his hand out and Hyunjin hesitates before taking it but he holds his ground, not letting the small boy pull him out of the room. </p><p>When he turns back questioningly, Hyunjin can’t help the laugh that escapes him. “My stuff? I kinda need my bag and phone.” </p><p>A shy smile welcomes itself on Jisung’s face and…a blush? He wants to say it’s a trick of the light but his cheeks are definitely pinker than they were before as he releases Hyunjin’s hands and waits at the door. The blonde makes quick work of his things and returns to Jisung’s side. </p><p>It’s only after they’ve returned the key that Hyunjin realizes he has no idea what they’re doing, he’s just been walking along as Jisung holds his hand and leads. “Where are we going?” </p><p>He doesn’t even stop, “you see my backpack?”</p><p>Now he does. “Yes…?”</p><p>“I have wonderful happy surprises in there that will make you cry with joy, all you gotta do is follow me.” </p><p>The backpack does look heavy but- “we’re going to my dorm aren’t we?”</p><p>“We’re going to your dorm, yes.” </p><p>Hyunjin laughs at the embarrassed, rushed tone Jisung uses and once more at the immediate switch paths to take up their usual route to Hyunjin’s dorm building. When they get there, the only sign of Seungmin is a note that reads <em>‘on a date! Be back later~ maybe ;))’</em> and Hyunjin drops back onto their shared desk like he’s been burned. </p><p>“Minnie's got a hot date?” </p><p>Hyunjin snorts, setting two placemats at the table in their tiny kitchen/dining area, “yeah, he and his boyfriend go out every chance they get.” Jisung just hums and Hyunjin wonders if that comment was insensitive of him to make. Jisung brings out a big water bottle, much like the one he brought for their first official practice together, and places it in front of Hyunjin.</p><p>“Hydrate and eat first, then you can shower, and <em>then</em> we'll finally hang out.” Hyunjin relents easily, partially because he’s starving but also because he’s simply not good at saying no to Jisung. It feels impossible in every sense. The next thing Jisung pulls out of his bag are two containers, carefully closed and wrapped up in plastic wrap. “Okay…don’t make fun of me.” </p><p>Hyunjin’s just about to question him when he finally unwraps one of the containers and opens it to reveal what is definitely homemade gimbap. Each piece is turned upwards to showcase a janky looking carrot heart, small and just slightly too pointed. They’re a bit messy but the fact that Jisung made them with his own small hands makes them perfect in Hyunjin's eyes. “Thank you, Hannie. I love this.” </p><p>“Are- hey, don’t cry! I promise they only look ugly! They taste really good, here, try one- say ‘ah'!” Jisung’s panic causes laughs to join Hyunjin’s happy tears and he does his best to accept the piece of gimbap offered to him without choking. </p><p>It really does taste good. “This is so yummy! Hannie, wow, you did a great job.” Hyunjin makes sure to give Jisung the biggest smile possible before continuing with a shove at his arm, “and I wasn’t crying because of how they look. Well- I was. But not in a bad way! It’s because they’re so cute and I can tell you worked hard on them and it just moved me.” <em>It felt like you loved me.</em><br/>

Jisung’s eyes seem to water too, quickly adding to the stars that seem to permanently exist there. “I just wanted to cheer you up so I put my all into cooking and hoped to whatever higher being is listening that I don’t poison you.”</p><p>Hyunjin snorts as he picks up another piece, “well, thank goodness to them.” </p><p>“Hey!” a set of chopsticks hit his face and he only laughs louder. </p><p> </p><p>They eat peacefully, Jisung insisting that Hyunjin have more because “it’s for you and you spent all this time dancing, don’t think I didn’t snack on five different things between then and now.” And it’s nice. They never have time this quiet with each other, there’s always something going on in the background to fill the silences in between conversations- be it a game, the tv, or the other people around them. Somehow, though, even the silences are nice. Hyunjin doesn’t feel a need to fill them with useless small talk and Jisung doesn’t seem to mind either, he seems comfortable and at ease. </p><p>When Hyunjin finishes, Jisung insists that he go ahead and shower, promises that he’s got everything taken care of. </p><p>That doesn’t stop Hyunjin from rushing through his shower as much as possible without skipping or neglecting any steps, doesn’t let himself space out for a second as he’s far too conscious of the boy he’s so tragically in love with waiting for him outside the door. Now clad in a big hoodie and sweats, he finds Jisung curled into himself on <em>his bed.</em> Is it possible for a heart to break and be healed by the same sight? </p><p>Because that definitely just happened. </p><p>“Hey, sleepy.” Hyunjin nudges Jisung’s ankle, trying not to coo at how soft and fluffy the boy looks. It just isn’t right that he can’t take this Jisung into his arms and hold him close until morning, it takes everything in him to keep himself from doing just that. “We don’t have to hang out if you’re this tired.” Hyunjin likes to pretend that he keeps his voice at a sweet whisper so as to wake him gently as a gesture of polite friendliness rather than pure affection. </p><p>He stirs, “hm?” Then shiny eyes blink up at him and a lazy smile comes along, “I’m not, I just tend to sleep easily when I feel comfortable.”</p><p>And <em>wow</em> Hyunjin wants nothing more than to ask Jisung to expand on what exactly is making him feel comfortable enough to sleep but he decides that he’s crossing enough lines tonight as it is, he can leave this be for now. “Still up to hanging out, then?”</p><p>He nods, still obviously lethargic. “I need your advice about something.” He shifts to lay flat on his back, leaving a space between him and the wall. “Come on.”</p><p>Who is Hyunjin to say no? </p><p>He crawls up carefully, trying to avoid touching Jisung without it being obvious. He thinks he succeeds as he lays next to the brunette after only brushing past him a few times and gathers his hands together on his chest. “What’s up, Sungie?”</p><p>There’s a long pause, Hyunjin even checks if Jisung’s still awake and finds him staring up at the ceiling and tapping out a rhythm on his arm. So, he turns away and waits for Jisung to be ready. He isn’t sure what to expect but he’s still at a total loss when the boy comes out with “I think I may be a bad person.”</p><p>Hyunjin’s response comes out as pure honesty with no prior thought or consideration, “I don’t think that’s possible. Actually, I’m sure that it’s not.” </p><p>“You don’t even know what I did yet, you can’t say that.” Jisung sounds so sad, it worries Hyunjin.</p><p>“Okay, well…you wanna tell me what you did?” </p><p>“I’m not in love with Minho anymore.” </p><p>It’s like the world stops and Hyunjin’s heart races and he has to remind himself not to be excited over the source of his friend’s stress but the feeling of <em>wow this is amazing</em> persists. “Are you sure?”</p><p>“Yeah…I've been thinking about it for a while now, actually. But, at some point the overwhelming disappointment became total neutrality. At that point, I figured I had just gotten used to it and was no longer phased. Then I realized that when he did came through or do something to make it up to me, I wasn’t excited in the same way I was before. Suddenly, I’m relieved each time he cancels and even more so if he leaves without kissing me. It’s not even that I hate him and no longer want to see him ever again. We were friends before dating and I still want my friend around. I just lost that extra something that made me wanna be around him all the time, you know? My heart just doesn’t race for him anymore.” </p><p>Hyunjin knows he’s focusing on the wrong the thing and he might be completely wrong but that wording feels strangely pointed to him. It doesn’t race <em>for him.</em> But it does race? </p><p>For who?</p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin?</p><p> </p><p>“Oh my god, I knew it, you think I’m the worst.” Jisung groans, rubbing his face with a pressure that cannot be good for his skin. Hyunjin pulls his hands away, keeping them in his own instead. </p><p>“No, I really don’t. That was just a lot to take in and I was thinking about it.” Hyunjin faces the momentary distraction of Jisung wiggling his fingers in between the spaces of Hyunjin’s own before he forces himself to continue, “falling out of love doesn’t make you a bad person. Just like you can’t help who you love, you can’t help the way your feelings change. You’d be a bad person if you hurt Minho as a result of this change in feeling.” Jisung sighs. “You are going to tell him, right?” </p><p>The small fingers in Hyunjin's hold tense for a moment before relaxing completely, “Yeah. I have to.” </p><p>“Then you’re not doing anything wrong. It’s okay, you’ll be okay. Minho’s a good person, he won’t hold this against you. Just be honest with him.” </p><p>“Okay. Yeah. You’re right.” Jisung shifts around a bit, “can we sleep now?” </p><p>“Do you feel better?” Hyunjin can’t go to sleep if Jisung’s still fighting a war with himself. </p><p>“Way better.” Jisung gives him the smile that turns his mouth into a heart and scrunches his eyes prettily. “Is it okay if we cuddle? I can’t sleep if I’m not hugging something.” </p><p>Hyunjin swears he’s marking this down as the best day ever. “Yeah, of course. I do owe you after all.” He jokes, trying to deflect from how fast his heart is pounding in his chest right now.</p><p>And just like that- the hands in his are removed in favor of arms wrapped around his waist, a head of fluffy hair on his chest, and legs tangled with his own. Hyunjin accommodates the clingy boy as best as he can, wrapping one arm around his torso and holding his arms with the other. </p><p>“Thank you, Hyuni.”</p><p>“Always.”</p><p> </p><p>Falling asleep has never been easier.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After Jisung leaves the next morning, a very sly Seungmin pounces right on the elephant in the room. “Why did I come back to you holding Han Jisung like he’s the world?” </p><p>“Because we’re both cuddly?” </p><p><em>“Hyunjin.”</em> </p><p>He rolls his eyes at his friend’s disappointed look and waves his arms around as if he can destroy Seungmin's ideas that way. “It’s nothing scandalous, he showed up at the end of my studio time with handmade food and lots of water so we ate here, he asked for some advice, then we fell asleep.” Hyunjin shrugs, “he asked to cuddle.” </p><p>Seungmin cocks an eyebrow, “what did he need advice on?”</p><p>“That’s not my secret to tell, but as soon as it’s public, I'll answer your questions.”</p><p>This paints a scowl on his roommate’s pretty face, “stop acting like you’re idols involved in a scandal and <em>tell me</em>.” </p><p>And he does. In an octave too high to be calm and bounces of joy in between. Seungmin seems to share his optimism and tells Hyunjin how great this is. He really is incredibly excited, but he’s worried too. He hopes Jisung will be alright and, even more so, he hopes Jisung tells the truth soon. </p><p> </p><p>Soon turns out to be today. </p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin learns this when he enters the dance studio after classes, as he usually does, and is met with an empty room. Well, save for two people. Felix doesn’t even look up when he says, “practice is canceled.”</p><p>It’s Minho who points out, “Lix, it’s Jinnie.” </p><p>Hyunjin nods awkwardly from his place at the door, “hey hyung, Lix. Um, sorry, I haven’t really checked my phone much today so I must’ve completely missed the memo. I'll just go, bye!” </p><p>He doesn’t get out the door because Minho calls out for him, “wait. Can I ask you something?”</p><p>“Yeah? What is it, hyung?” </p><p>Minho has this unreadable expression on his face but it somehow doesn’t seem unpleasant in any way, “Jisung and I broke up.” Hyunjin schools his expression, his emotions conflicting each other in many ways. “It was mutual, and for similar reasons, but I just wanted to be sure that he really meant what he said to me. You’re his best friend, what did he say to you?” </p><p>Hyunjin picks at his nails, “I don’t think that’s something I should be sharing with others, hyung. Not that I don’t wanna help you- it’s just that this really isn’t any of my business and I have no right to be telling you what he told me in confidence.” Telling Seungmin and telling Minho are <em>not</em> the same thing and they never will be. “All I can say is that you should trust what he told you. He’s a very honest guy, I don’t think he’d bullshit you during a break up.”</p><p>Minho smiles so genuinely that Hyunjin gets an urge to know him better. “Yeah, I agree. Thank you.” </p><p>Hyunjin's trying to figure out a response when Felix chimes in, “I’m pretty sure Jisung was looking for you, he said something about hanging out.” </p><p>Did Hyunjin forget plans? He’s pretty sure they haven’t made any, but he trusts that Felix is being truthful, “I'll call him. See you guys tomorrow!”</p><p>“Bye Jinnie, love you!”</p><p>“Don’t trip!”</p><p> </p><p>He calls Jisung on his way back to his dorm, ready to drop off the bags he’s been carrying around all day. </p><p>“Hyunjinnie!” </p><p>“Hey, Hannie! Lix said you were looking for me.”</p><p>“What, my seven texts and three missed calls didn’t clue you in on that at all?” The sarcasm in his voice is thick.</p><p>“Maybe some of us are too busy to check their phone during the day.” </p><p>Hyunjin hears Jisung scoff, “more like too afraid of their professors to even <em>think</em> about their phone in class.”</p><p>“Say that again when you get threatened with an automatic fail in a pre-req, I dare you.” </p><p>“Funny coming from-" Hyunjin figures Jisung cuts himself off because they’ve come face to face, Hyunjin finding the pretty boy sitting outside his door. “Hi.”</p><p>“Hey, stalker.” </p><p>And in they go, where Jisung tells Hyunjin how Minho had also fallen out of love and had been struggling to tell Jisung especially after he found himself falling for someone else. He told Hyunjin how they had laughed at how dramatic they were making things in their heads out of pure worry and stress. Then he expressed how free and relieved he feels now that he got that out there and knows that he hasn’t hurt Minho at all. </p><p>Hyunjin listens contently the whole time, genuinely pleased that everything worked out so nicely between the two. Although. He figures it has to when two people as sweet as them are involved. </p><p> </p><p>That’s probably when the real shift between Hyunjin and Jisung really happens. </p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, they aren’t just hanging out in one of their rooms but going out to discover new local restaurants and the fact that food's spiciness ranking varies greatly between businesses and not choosing a level one for the first visit results in definite suffering. Hyunjin feels embarrassed for his poor tolerance but when Jisung slides into the booth next to him and rubs his back soothingly as he orders some milk for him, he can’t find it in himself to dislike this situation. </p><p> </p><p>Together, they learn that the other can’t handle scary movies. It starts as a simple debate and ends in them at the theater with tickets to the latest (and highest rated, mind you) horror movie available. Hyunjin settles in confidently with an obviously antsy Jisung beside him, going as far as too recline comfortably while the other boy sits rigidly. Ultimately, they reach for each other at the very first jump scare and cling for the rest of the movie. Each moment of prolonged silence for suspense has the two turning to face each other and hiding behind their held hands. They’re both so shaken that they don’t even need to discuss the way they make their way into Hyunjin’s bed and fall asleep holding onto each other tightly. </p><p> </p><p>When it’s finally time to perform their duets for the class, Jisung makes a big show of yelling, “Minho! This is for you, baby!” and Hyunjin laughs at the sarcastic dedication. </p><p>Minho yells back, “oh my <em>god</em> you’re so obsessed with me!” </p><p>Then the music starts and Hyunjin loses himself the bubble of hurt and heartbreak that this song creates. The choreography feels like second nature with how much they’ve practiced it and he can’t help but grin when the first drop of Lee Hi's emotional <em>“here come the regrets"</em> rips through the speakers. He loves what they’ve created. Just Hyunjin, Jisung, and dance. </p><p>The dance goes over wonderfully, voted amongst the most popular alongside Minho and Felix who perform a dance that oozes sex appeal and cat-like mischief. Perfect for the pair.</p><p> </p><p>Today, Hyunjin learns that Jisung loves to visit museums. “There’s just so much information in there! And things you could never see otherwise!” He thinks it’s cute, the way his eyes light up like Hyunjin's bought him the world as he pays the very cheap entrance fee. He isn’t sure when they start holding hands but he’s positive that he doesn’t want to let go until it’s absolutely necessary. Jisung’s hand is small and soft and warm, it fits perfectly in Hyunjin’s hold. They spend most of their day in the museum, Jisung insisting that he has to see everything or else he’ll be curious about what he missed forever. When they finally exit, it’s dark out and the stars are shining brightly in this part of the city. </p><p>This is where Jisung stops them at the museum entrance and asks Hyunjin, “can you kiss me?”</p><p>Hyunjin has never been good at saying no to Jisung.</p><p>He learns that Jisung's lips are soft and that when they kiss, he has to bend down but Jisung also reaches up to make it easier on Hyunjin. He also learns that Jisung is the type to hold on to one of his arms and eventually reach for his hand to hold as he plays with Hyunjin's hair with his free hand. Hyunjin shows Jisung that he’s the type to hold his waist closely and cup his jaw gently as he presses their lips together just a bit more firmly. Soft and sweet, and candy-like kiss that leaves Hyunjin breathless and paints the prettiest blush on Jisung’s cheeks. </p><p>Hyunjin learns that he can kiss Jisung a lot harder after he hears, “I think I’m in love with you, Hyuni.” </p><p>And that Jisung kisses more eagerly when he hears, “I’m in love with you too, Sungie.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They don’t talk about the kiss as they walk back, swinging their locked hands between themselves. Their love confessions aren’t addressed either, Hyunjin has trouble asking if this means they’ll be together now. Instead, he points out every animal he sees and gives them names while Jisung gives them voices and personalities. Hyunjin’s heart is racing faster than it ever has but he’s having fun, like he always does with this bright boy beside him. </p><p>They don’t talk about it until they stand at the same fork in the road that divided them on their first day of friendship. Hyunjin doesn’t want to let go of his hand but they both have classes far too early to be sleeping in the other's room. </p><p>Always bold, Jisung speaks first. “I meant what I said.” </p><p>“So did I.” </p><p>There’s an awkward pause. “So, are you gonna ask or are do I have to do everything myself?”</p><p>Hyunjin grins, laughs bubbling up in his chest, “Hannie, will you be my boyfriend?” </p><p>Jisung’s matching grin makes all the heartache worth it, every moment of wishing he could be Minho and crying over his inability to get rid of his romantic feelings towards the boy in front of him. The way Jisung smiles sweetly, holding every star in his eyes. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get over how that obviously lovesick look is now all for him. Jisung, <em>his Jisung</em>. “I'd love to.” </p><p>Hyunjin kisses Jisung again. Partially because it feels like a moment in which he should but also because he can’t get himself to stop. He can kiss Jisung now, in all moments. Be it after a grand confession or a cute pout. This isn’t Jisung, his unreachable and unrequited love. This is Hannie, his best friend who feels just as the same as Hyunjin. </p><p>Hyunjin pulls Jisung to his room anyway, the need to hold him outweighing logic. And if, the next morning, Jisung leaves wearing one of Hyunjin's favorite hoodies…well, he’ll never admit that it's to make sure everyone knows that Jisung is finally his.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi! </p><p>If you liked it, please leave me a kudos? A comment? It would mean a lot to me!! </p><p> </p><p>If you'd be interested in an extra with Jisung’s POV of these events, please show me some love!! </p><p>Bye bye, thank you for reading! ♡</p></blockquote></div></div>
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